O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
Surely I have composed and quieted my soul
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me.
O Israel, hope in the LORD,
From this time forth and forever.”
(Psalm 131)
I read this Psalm this morning. It is one of my (many) favorites. Today in particular I felt I could relate. In depression, one is reduced to doing the simplest, most necessary things, and even they can be a challenge. All the things that I used to do without thinking; multi-tasking, making decisions, planning things, making phone calls, ordering my day, are suddenly beyond my capabilities. I have to set all those now “great matters” aside for a while, and accept the fact that I can only do one thing at a time, even just think of one thing at a time, or else I will be overwhelmed. It is a humbling experience, for sure.
The picture of a weaned child resting against his mother as a description of the Psalmist’s soul has always attracted me. I think about the attitude of a child that has been weaned from his mother’s breast. They no longer seek out that particular way of nourishment, although they will often be leaning right against it. They are content to be fed by other means, and trust that their mother will continue to supply them with the food that they need. They know that being weaned does not mean they are any less secure; they continue to trust, with not a worry or a fear. Contentment and trust. There is a precious naïveté in that picture that is worthy of our desiring.
So that is what I seek. To shed any worry or fear that because I’m not currently “pulling my weight” that disasters will take place. To be content to simply lean against Jesus, knowing He will supply me with all that I need, to do all that I need to do, for now.
There’s a good lesson in this Psalm I think. The Psalmist composed and quieted his own soul, so that he was able to rest in the LORD. I think we can do that too, as we consider the loving God that we serve. Our Shepherd will be there to be that resting place, and our safe haven.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
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