As of November 19th, I was officially off work for one year. One whole year! I can barely believe it. That time seems like a blur now. If I think too much about it, I will be discouraged. A whole year out of my life, and what did I accomplish? It seems as though I am still beset by the same struggles. I am still unorganized. My guest bedroom/study/storage room is still in a mess. I still have to pry myself out of bed every morning, and fight with fatigue during the day. Exercise is something that I haven't yet made a consistant part of my day. Instead of getting my weight down, I have managed to gain another ten pounds. I still am not disciplined in my writing. Depression is still after me, and I fight with it all the time. So, I don't think too much about it.
On the other hand, I have learned a lot; about myself, and about God's faithfulness. I have met new friends in Blogland, and read their stories. There are many people out there who have suffered much. But in telling their stories, the overriding factor and focus is the grace of God. And that tells me something. It reminds me that it's not all about me. Depression's focus is the self, and all that is wrong with the self. Depression's voice tells lies much of the time. Its voice tries to drown out the truth of who God is, and who I am in Him. The truth of His beauty, mercy, love, holiness and justice. The truth that He is working all things together for good. I read the stories that others write, and I see this proven, that He does work all things together for good,over and over again. So then I apply it to my own situation, and I am encouraged.
I wasn't sure where I was going with this post. But I think I will end with a big thank you. To everyone whose story I read and was touched by. May God continue to go with you in your journey. And an especially big thank you to our God, Father Son and Holy Spirit. It is because of His great mercies that we are not consumed. Great is His faithfulness.
Now, on to another year........................
1 comment:
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers
them out of them all. Is not the bible filled with the history
of the sufferings of the people of God more than that of the wicked?
Abel, Jacob, Joseph, The Israelites in Egypt, Moses,
David, Job, Elijah, Jeremiah, Jonah, Zechariah, John the Baptist
(the greatest man ever born of woman), the Lord Jesus, Stephen, Peter,
James and Paul and the early churches and now up to today the
true Christians.
As Job says, But He knows the way that I take;
When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.
Job finally learned not to question the wisdom of God after his
devastating losses. His final words are "I retract, and I repent in
dust and ashes." Those words were his "gold."
My wife and I have been humbled and broken......but while "we" were the lowest of the low....He saved "us"...and that is enough! He is our Treasure!
P.S. I still "hate" depression:-(
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