(First post of new blog, to explain reason for starting new blog, and reason for title of new blog.)
Depression drags you down, but God calls us up.
I am currently on leave from work, trying to get a handle on my depression. At first, the idea of staying away from the office seemed too good to be true. Not having to drag myself in everyday, rushing out the door, feeling overwhelmed even in just doing all the things I had to do to get me that far. Not having to talk to anyone all day, or think, or pretend I was ok and in control. What a relief!
But then I remembered what it was like to be home with depression. Not fun. Lots of time to think, which isn't always a good thing when your thoughts seem stuck on auto pilot, and always heading towards Bleakesville. Lots of time to sit around, or sleep. Then Mr. Guilt comes knocking, berating you for wasting time. Lots of time to see things that need doing, but just thinking about doing one of them is enough to send you back under the covers.
When my health care provider said she would give me a note for my employer, I was relieved, but wanted to ask her "ok, so what do I do while I'm at home?" I felt like I needed instructions, a list of prescribed activities that would become part of my "treatment", rather than just sitting around and waiting for the medication to kick in.
One of the most frustrating things about depression is a feeling of helplessness, of being overwhelmed with the simplest tasks. I wanted her to give me some "homework" that I would somehow manage to do, if only to be a "good little patient" and feel that I was at least co-operating and doing something to help myself. But of course, I didn't ask. Because I already know all the recommendations.
I have read, and studied, and sought out information in books and articles and websites too many to count. It's like I know what to do to lose weight. Yet I still search for that elusive "last diet" that will somehow magically melt the pounds off, with little or no effort on my part.
So when a friend sent me a link for a "depression" blogspot, I thought "hey, why don't I do that?" I am wanting to be pro-active in this thing, and not give in to the "poor me's" that can so often accompany depression. I want to take any steps that I can to move towards health. And, knowing that nothing is wasted in God's economy, I want to reach out to others along the way, just as others have helped me along in this often-times incredibly lonely journey.
I feel encouraged. Having a blog about depression is something tangible, and something that gives a purpose to my otherwise floundering efforts to make sense of the whole thing.
One thing I am sure of is this. We are saved to the highest purpose, that is to know, love, serve, and glorify our great God. Our lives are no longer our own, and His Spirit works mightily in us. Whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, we will continually be prompted and strengthened to persevere toward that calling, the "prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Phil 3:14 KJV.)
Hopefully I haven't bitten off more than I can chew. Entries may be sporadic, depending on how my days are going. But my aim is to provide information, helpful hints, personal reflections, and last but in no way least, encouragement from God's Word. To Him be the glory.
About Me
- Maureen
- Canada
- Follower of Jesus, wife,mother, grandmother. Going through life one day at a time, by His Grace!
12 comments:
Hey first comment on the first post on your new blog. I feel privileged! :)
Hope you will find healing during this time off from work. I think your recordings here will help many who have similar struggles. I don't want to add another item to your to-do list, but just wondering if you ever read Bob George's Victory over Depression. A lot of truth in there based on the New Covenant reality of our identity in Christ.
Much grace, peace and love to you during these days of recovery!
Wow a comment already! That IS encouraging!
Thanks for the well wishes Bino. I have seen that book, but not ordered it (yet!). Always looking for new truth to combat what that negative voice in my head says.
Grace and Peace to you.
HI Maureen,
It's so lovely to be able to read what you have shared here. Thanks for giving me (and others) the joy of being with you as you look upward to the call of the Wonderful Christ over your heart. It's a joy to know you and to be your friend and to walk together, together with you , together with Jesus - onward we are going ! We are no longer the same, but we are being changed, hugs , love R
When I find myself self-analyzing I need someone to remind of who I am and point me to Jesus. Please keep pointing, Mac, and I will do the same for you.
May I have that baby for Christmas, please?? I've been especially good...she may very well be the cutest baby ever. :)
Maureen,
My dear sister, thank you for being so open and honest about your struggles. I am honored that you'd share. It sounds like you have done the best thing to take a leave from work to allow Papa and you to sort through and bring some healing to you.
Now, I am not trying to "promote" my book here in a "used car salesman" type of tactic. But, I honestly went through a Great Sadness in my past, and I really think you might get a good deal of feeling not so alone in what you are experiencing. Though our experiences may be different, from some of what you shared in this post, I think you could find some things that resonate with your heart. I know that seasons like this, the Opposer wants to cause one to feel like you are "the only one."
That being said, I know that it's fully up to you of whether the Holy Spirit guides you to purchase and read my book or not. In any event, also feel free to email me personally, and if you do read my book, perhaps you can email me with things in the book that touched your heart. The whole reason I wrote my book wasn't just for me, rather it was to heed what I felt the Holy Spirit put on my heart to use my story to inspire hope and encouragement. The Holy Spirit is the One who does this.
Anyways, my friend, I will sincerely be praying for you, as I go on my evening walks with Howie.
Blessings,
~Amy :)
Author of "Orphaned Into Belonging"
http://www.lulu.com/content/4781677
Walking In The Spirit
http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com
Ruth it is a HUGE blessing to be heeding the upward call alongside of you. Yes, we are being changed. There is so much to be thankful for. Thanks for visiting my new digs!
Jamie, good advice, that pointing to Jesus. Can't do better, or go higher. That's what we're here to do for each other, right?
About the baby, you would have to get in line. FYI, she turns 3 next month, but is the size of a minute.
Amy, thank you so much for your kind words. I do intend to buy a book, just not getting to all the things on my "to do" list very quickly. I know I will find lots there that we share. You can be sure I'll be in touch.
Mac's so nice, I get her on my list twice.
Maureen, this one just for you....
"Papa, you are our comforter, our sustainer, our source of energy, our friend. I ask you throw your arms around Maureen and hold her close. Whether the depression be chemical emotional or otherwise, I ask you to touch her at the root of the depression and lift her up to in your arms. Papa, victory is an inheretance from you, so we speak and declare that victory into Maureens life as she reads this prayer."
Leonard, you old softie you :o)
Lennart, thank you so much for the beautiful prayer. Couldn't ask for more than that.
Blessings to you both (2 Len's?? could be confusing)
After 30+ years.....I'm not sure there is "victory over depression" but I do know that it can be "contained". When depression rises its ugly head it is always "tempting" to attach it to a "problem" when in fact there is no problem (if you have never experienced this it won't make sense). AND.....the last thing a depressed person needs is to be pointed to a passage of Scripture to cheer you up!! OUCH! If I have a heart attack please call 911 and we will discuss Scripture after I have been stabalized!!!
I have tried to protect my wife from "people" who just don't get it. I got weary of well meaning "christians" making an already complicated "medical" condition......more complicated. I mean't well, but I am not sure this was best for her or me.
I do know that there are thousands/millions of christians who struggle with various emotional problems and would benefit from a blog such as this. So.......I guess you will have to write a book and become famous and draw them into your blog?
Anon, I know exactly what you mean by having depression attaching itself to a problem when there is no problem. That is exactly what it does. It makes ordinary living seem like an endurance race.
I think the "victory" comes in small things. Reminds me of that saying, goes something like "we may lose some battles, but we won't lose the war." It is a war, and a matter of learning strategies to be always ready for battle.
I would love to write a book someday, just not sure what on. I can't imagine what I would have to say about depression that hasn't already been said. Still, I know it is encouraging to read other people's stories, and see that they came out on the "brighter" side.
"Our" book (if we had one) wouldn't be coming out on a "brighter" side. I like your analogy of winning battles but maybe not the war.
It's interesting that we who love the Lord are promised that "all" things work for our good. When our first baby died I struggled with this passage. Many years later I still do not like some struggles in this life, but Whom do I turn to but the Lord?
Yesterday I was snuggled up in my grandma's arms....today I am 58....tomorrow I am gone. Life is a vapor! I have been humbled and broken. The Lord had much to bring me from.......if He would have cut me loose and let me run.....I would have ran straight into hell. I'm so thankful He loved me this much!
As far as a book....I remember reading a story on an old post on your other blog. I copied it and sent it to all the youngsters in my large family (my nephew Nathan thinks I'm a genius...oops forgot to give you credit!). I think you could start small and write beautiful stories filled with scripture for Margaret and eventually put them in a book.
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